Once More Unto the Breach
TWP # 9 - Lets delve into maze that is the mind.
Often when I sit down to do anything, whether it be writing this, writing code, studying AI or even just relaxing its often a battle just to begin. My mind doesn’t quite seem to work the way it use to. Not in a degrading type of change, but a more abstract evolution of my past self. Years of compounding experiences and challenges in the realm of the entrepreneur has changed the way I think and perceive things. I tend to think of things at a high level and how it fits into my life, and try to understand every outcome of every timeline those ideas create, instead of living in the peaceful bliss of just creating.
There is an understanding to the totality of everything you try to accomplish, that you cant just live in the moment without the future bearing down on you. Where there use to be a youthful joy of building things in ignorance, now there is the thought of the future constraints. Do I really want to spend 3 years building a game? Another company? Another app? Just to fail, and fail again. In a decade from now all that’s left in your wake is a string of failed attempts at creative fulfillment. That’s the worse part of this, I wish the thought of time mattered as little now as it did a decade ago. On the flip side of that, isn’t it worse to have looked back and lamented at all the things you never tried for fear of wasting what time you have left? Are failures really failures? Maybe its how we define success and how we define failures.
I think this can be classified as a slump/rut/writers block situation. We have all been there. Where we want to accomplish something but the thought of starting back at the starting line weighs too much to even begin. The darkness becomes heavier and heavier, and then slowly consumes. I do find moments of brief clarity in this darkness, moments when I think I finally escaped, when I found the reason I was meant to be where I am. I try to grasp those only to let go for some reason. Every moment of every day is a battle in the bleakness of this creative void.
Game Dev Projects
As I posted a few weeks ago showcasing some of the year+ work I have done on “Gods, Puppets and Dreams” I am now at a crossroads. The slump is real. Do I create a new project and start something fresh that will reignite the fire? Or push through and continue on with the current one. Leaning towards the later. I did run across an excellent UE5 lighting tutorial on 3D Brushwork's YouTube Channel. Lighting is always something I struggled with, or more struggled to understand.
I do want to create a series of dev videos showing my process for level design. Did a ton of work on greyboxing, layouts, and blender → Unreal workflow. So maybe that will happen this week.
I have started to rework some of the initial areas I laid out using some kitbash elements. I dont want to spend a ton of time on set dressing at this point in time, but sometimes you just need to do something different. I would like each area of the station to feel unique (room, observation deck, android room, hangar, farm/plant room, etc). As you progress with each time loop iteration, things will slowly change into a more darker, bizarre type atmosphere. Every item in the game can be positioned based on the current time loop (phase epoch as I call it in the code), with each loop/phase being unique in its own right.
What I Am Playing
Its now spooky season, so if you have any ideas on what I should get into drop a comment. I’m thinking the latest Resident Evil or maybe Dead Space 2 (never finished that).
Chivalry 2
PS4, PS5, Xbox One, Xbox Series, PC
This just came to game pass recently after being a full release for a while, and its been a long time since I played a game and just smiled the entire time. Chivalry is just a clash of swinging giant swords, rushing outposts and hacking your opponents to pieces in medieval warfare with 60ish other people. Its just raw fun. Everyone on the battlefield is basically canon fodder anyways, so its such a hilarious time to charge the enemy strongholds with your band of merry men. If you need a laugh or something fun and simple so you can switch your brain off, I highly suggest this.
Chivalry 2 is a multiplayer first person slasher inspired by epic medieval movie battles. Players are thrust into the action of every iconic moment of the era - from clashing swords, to storms of flaming arrows, to sprawling castle sieges and more.
Random
AI Generated Video
As I have a keen interest in everything AI, Meta announced their “Make-a-Video”, here, which can seemingly can create video via the text-to-video translation process similar to text-to-image that has risen in popularity the past months. I am still just in awe of these technologies.
With that I bid farewell.